A Cup of Cha

My First Inner Body Cleanse Attempt

2011-10-07T14:20:00.000+08:00

Drink nothing but juice for days on end and achieve unbelievably sounding results!?!I've been wanting to do this ever since I first heard about it.

For those who are equally interested in this sort of thing and/or enjoy my ramblings on belly button shapes, here we go.

Day 1: Vegetables and Fruits Only

This is a prep day. No meats, carbs, or processed foods. I did snack on a few Taiwanese preserved salty plums which vaguely resemble fruit.

I started my day with a bowl of Taiwanese milk pineapple that was sitting in my fridge. It left me with a tongue burnt by the very high acidic content and now, hours later, there is still some numbness. This sort of pineapple is one of many types genetically altered and grown in Taiwan. It was whiter, yes, and no there weren’t any blonde hairs and blue eyes attached yet.

A vegetarian buffet was where the next eating session would come from. This place is awesome; the food is cheap and is weighed after personal selecting, there is always plenty to choose from, and the food is not covered in grease, soy sauce, strangeness, or boiled pig skin. Broccoli, mushrooms, peanuts, dark leafy greens, cucumber pickles, tofu, capsicum, soy beans, bean sprouts, tomatoes stir-fried with tofu, and all sorts of solid soy products and various other veggies to choose from are daily displayed in a very clean and spacious environment. One full box for me and no rice, please!

Smooothie: A frozen mango, a ripe banana, about 1.5 cups of 100% cranberry juice, and about a cup of ice were sploshed together and whirred in my newly bought blender (700$ at RT Mart, holds 1.5 liters, and has a jug of thick glass). Yield: One very large and scrumptious serving.

I think more vegetables are on the agenda as I'm hungry and don't enjoy starving myself.

~ My body feels lighter. I understand that this is what happens when one puts less than normal into any container. I felt a tingling sensation in the morning which may be due to my not eating much, however I'm not clear about why my own body of 26 years sometimes acts strangely. I've thought about cooking pasta for dinner before realizing that I'm on a dumb diet. I've farted. It may have been the beans. Nothing creepy has come out of me. This, I hear, is about to change over the next few days. READER BEWARE!!

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Day 2: Veg Only

I've started researching deeper into cleanses/diets/fasts/masochism ideas that pinpoint health problems I'm growing increasingly quite tired of. Seriously. Visit my body twice or thrice, I think that's normal. Any more than that repeated action in a row starts to border on obsession. I mean come ON! When will these strains of bacteria get the point? I didn't call you back for a reason, yeah? I'm looking into a detox program for a week and then another cleanse for Candida. Yes. I said the C word.

As for today's diet, the most oustanding thing I drank brought my taste buds shriveling into protest and my stomach wishing it could slap me across the face.

Vegetable Super Juice:3 handfuls of spinach1 cucumber3 mutant giant celery stalks including leaves 1 cup of lettucea few ice cubes

Juice into 1 cup of gruesome horror and think happy thoughts. The recipe does suggest adding parsley or ginger as well as water. I forgot to read that far, honestly.

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Day 3: More Veg Only

I've never been more disgusted with green leafy stalk vegetables as I am now. The sight and smell of celery makes me gag.

I started the day with a pretty good veg juice.

Total Body Detox Juice1 tomato1 asparagus ( I substituted celery for lack of asparagus.)1 cucumber½ lemon1 ice cubeYield: 1 serving, about a mug-ful

It tasted much better with the extra flavor from the citric and tomato components. The recipe thankfully also makes less to swallow. Asparagus and celery, among other veg, are natural diuretics and help to flush toxins from the body, promoting kidney cleansing, so the web site told me. I feel that it's time for you to know that I've been getting all my wisdom and recipes from the delightful internet. I haven't consulted any doctors, dieticians, holistic healers, Indian gurus, or mothers. Although, today when I called the China Medical University Hospital about signing up for not one but 3 colonics, they told me I'd need a doctor's perscription for it first. This must be because of Taiwan's national health insurance as I know for a fact that in many SEA countries I've visted in the past, many have advertised colonics as part of their 5 star beauty treatments.

Lunch: A pricier vegetarian buffet that was indeed over-priced. Not much in the veg variation at all. It was disappointing actually and what you actually pay for are the 43 waiters and waitresses walking around asking if you want this or that dish and pulling your plate immediately out of your hand. The ice-cream was low quality gelato. The desserts didn't generate any praise from my bf, even though I thought they looked decent. Remember, I couldn't taste sweets, just touch them. A Thai Spicy and Sour Hot Pot was sour enough to pucker your face up. Most of the dishes were bland, boring shapes and nondefining tastes that I've come to equate with Taiwanese vegetarian fare. I don't think we'll return as you can get more choices of food at the vegetarian place I mentioned in yesterday's note...for a 6th of the cost at this place. Silliness.Cost: 420nt

Snack: Green Hydrator1 celery stalk1 cucumber1 green pepper2 handfuls of spinachan ice cubeYield: 1 serving, about a mug-ful

Taste: Gross. Slugging it down with a wide sized straw helps immensely by by-passing most of your taste buds and swiftly carrying it to your throat instead of letting it simmer on your tongue and causing excess nausea.

Snack 2: Green salad tossed with cilantro, virgin olive oil, freshly squeezed lime juice from one lime, and some pink himalayan salt for flavor. Tasting the celery leaves in it got to be too much for me so I almost finished it all.

Drink: Unsweetened green tea - full of anti-oxidants, we all know. PERFECT for keeping you awake while feeling like the nasty end of a 48hr pill trip because, well, you're just into that sort of nasty end stuff.

Dinner: Cheap Awesome Veg Buffet - 70nt after 20% off after 7pm

I've been chugging water all day and consequentially eliminating it just as often. Today, the side effects were much worse. Think pregnant mom on very bad case of cravings, moodiness, intense fatigue, serious nausea, sleepiness, throbbing headaches... and tremors of a smoking addict on his or her 3rd day of going cold chicken... and you'll be quite close to how it feels on starvation/flush-ation. Oh yes, my tongue has also been going numb and tingly like I've been alternatively chewing betel nut and smoking menthol and celery flavored ciggs.

Tomorrow, the pain intensifies with a liquid diet and too much uncrossing of my eyes.

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Day 4: It is crazy how eating only vegetables, no meat, startch, protein, fruit, sweets, processed foods, mushrooms, and nuts, can make such an impression on not only my body, but my mind as well.

For the most part of this morning I was waiting around for a sugarcane juice stand to open. I wanted to start a liquid only diet this morning which included Master Cleanse Juice in the morning, juices and herbal teas throughout the day, and more Master Cleanse Juice with some vegetable soup at night. Surviving on the Master Cleanse alone is voluntary torture, sort of like what bungee jumping is to some people. I bought pure organic lemon juice and some other vegetables from one of those organic shops on Zhong Gan Rd. We spotted sugarcane sugar which I giddily grabbed three bags of. Upon returning home, I thought it through a little more. Sugar cane sugar is NOT the same as sugarcane juice. I blame this stupidity on my incoherent state of mind and sheer pain I was going through.

So, no juice or liquid diet starting for me today. This took me all morning to figure out and work through. I can really tell my mental faculties are improving treMENdously.

Finally, my first "food" of the day: Chiled and slightly sweet juice from a Thai coconut which is technically a fruit... possibly. I could think and walk again after this and made a green juice and an overflowing pot of veg goodness.

Juice Me Green:Anything you want to juice and is lying around in your fridge.asparaguscabbagecilantrospinachceleryginger

Overflowing Pot of Veg Goodness:cabbagespinachwater spinach (?)purple spinach (?)oniongingerasparaguscelerycilantro

Seasonings:dried basil very little saltpeppercayenne pepper

Cooking: Wash veg. Cut. Boil water. Dump in greenery and boil for 5 mins. The less cooking time, the better.

I've stored the leftover soup in the freezer which is apparently healthier than mere refrigeration. Spiffy.I had another Juice Me Green, self-concocted veg/green juice in the afternoon. Veg soup for the rest of the day.

I was very keen on going only liquid for a few days, but I will be sub'bing a few classes in 2 days and have an upcoming vacation soon. I won't be more than a sobbing idiot at the classes and a useless sack of damaged brain tissue on my vacation if I continue deeper into this detox diet. Yes, this is what this has been. A Detox Diet. I hope it's detoxed the headaches out of me for the next year.

A Break

2011-10-07T13:56:00.001+08:00

Wow, where do I begin?

I've taken time off from work and have been on temporary leave/in-between jobs/ on R&R for the past few months. It’s actually been about 3 months now and things are going well. If by going well one means improving in health, then yes. Sniffles, migraines, backaches, a continuous sore and hoarse throat, a bad digestion, serious menstruation problems, dermatological eruptions, circulation issues, and allergies have slowly eased into the background of normality. There have been a few days when I’ve slept almost non-stop. I’ve also spent more days running around different vacation locations and getting back to being one with nature and urinating in it freely as well. I’ve tried a crazy-ass diet right off the bat without any prep or easing into it by weeks of a slowly altered diet. I’ll post it. That turned out well, actually. As well as what only raw veggie juice and water over a few days can do to your system. My digestive issues have straightened out much like I’d imagine a small and large colon would straighten right out when filled like an expanding water balloon with celery, spinach, and all sorts of other vegetable juices.

A faster and more painful yet highly successful alternative would be 4 tablespoons of coconut oil, preferably organic virgin type. Take note reader and do not swallow with a lightness of heart but know that you shall spend all day in your washroom. . . Most likely clutching the nearest fixture with white hot knuckles squeezing out deeply guttural, “I..c-can’t ..buh-beLIEVE I listened t-t-to CHARITY!” While we’re on the subject, prepare some soothing Beethoven tune-age which should add classically to the wonderful scene. Besides, who doesn’t agree with neurological stimulation while multi-tasking?

There has been a fabulous birthday week which was most successful of all birthday celebrations in the life of Cha. The most kudos goes to the new resident in the apartment of Cha, who is continuously surprising, loving, and supportive.

There was a crazy family weekend where I cooked for my own birthday party. I also observed and learned even more about the ever-changing and bizarre, yet completely expected but still surprising, dynamics of a traditional Chinese/Taiwanese family of 9 children and 2 grandkids speaking English and Mandarin who are all moving on in many ways from the non-traditional ways of Bible-based cultish behavior and teachings while adapting to life back in a traditional Chinese/Taiwanese lifestyle. Lesson 1: Buy plenty of booze. Lesson 2: Bring 2 packs of playing cards.

I've met two language exchange partners this week and both have been successful and enjoyable. Yoga classes have been excellent and exactly at the right tempo with a great friend as the instructor. I hope to return to regular swimming as soon as possible, too.

Japanese-Restaurant-I-Don't-Have-A-Fucking-Clue-What-It's-Called

2010-07-29T18:28:00.004+08:00

It's located on Gonyi Rd right next to a restaurant I DO know the name of, which is called Rock Steak House, I think.

Upon entering the Japanese-Restaurant-I-Don't-Have-A-Fucking-Clue-What-It's-Called, you must speak up when declaring how many people need to be seated otherwise you shall be told that you have more than one. Sit in front of sushi conveyor belt and attempt to decipher 3 different large menus and a multitude of swiftly passing menus on the dizzying express train belt. Color-coded plates are meant only for Japanese Jedi trained in the art of deciphering signs from the dark force of what-the-fuck.

I do what I usually do. Point, grunt, and figure out bill when full. I wasn't impressed with the menu displaying only one choice of a sashimi platter. I habitually indulge in erotic sex with sashimi that borders on B&M. Seeing a singular choice of a much fantasized option does as much for the hard-on as a singular choice of sexual release does for the prison bird. In front of me is pickled ginger that doesn't taste like candy, is sitting in my personal box, a decent feature. On its side are 3 choices of tea bags, ceramic cups instead of plastic ones, soy sauce, and of course the tap piping hot water for the tea. 1 more point goes to the restaurant for wasabi that isn't surfer boy green, violently florescent green, and actually biting.

I stare at the conveyor belt that offers meager selections of limp slices of dull fish that makes me think 30NTD Sushi Express deals aren't too far from this experience. I pull a bowl of chewy fern-like veggies topped with a little salty mushroom sauce and sitting in the same type of sauce I think. It's tasty in a waxy, refreshing way. My octopus sliced over rice blobs arrive. Delightful, fresh, slightly chewy but not rubbery, and tasting like octopus. My salmon roe sushi is good. The ginger helps with so much fishiness. Finally, my sashimi platter arrives. The tuna is too soft. The salmon is scrumptious. The yellow tail is gross. All are a bit too soft for my liking but I will order it again. My last dish is a small plate of cold oo-long noodles, which are thick rounded noodles served in a savory sesame like sauce sprinkled with white sesame seeds. It comes topped with a deep fried shrimp in thick crusted batter, not the best, two types of mushrooms fried in batter, very good, and a few slices of asparagus and cucumber on the side. A recommended dish. It's all washed down with a soothing wheat tea.

Other things on the menu include small Haagen Dazs ice cream - 100. A handful of saki choices. Cooked dishes - Beef salad, roasted chicken, cheese sausages, and much, much more. There should be English.

My bill comes to a little more than 500. My deed is done and I'm happy. Oh, don't forget to take your bill off the back of your chair/stool. They take credit cards.

Other: Decent and cheery wait staff. Clean. Conveniently organized. Spacious. Menus need English translation. Sashimi could be fresher. Food could come sooner. Stools were too high in comparison to the counter/table, but I'm taller than the average customer.

I give it a rough 6.5 out of ten. Goin' back.

Exercise on 10 Assertive Rights

2010-05-04T13:51:00.002+08:00

Answer the following questions in your journal. They are designed to help you assess your level of assertiveness.

A. How can I keep others and myself from being judgmental? Why is it so easy to judge another? How does my fear of judgment reduce my assertiveness?

I can keep others from being judgmental by reminding them that to keep an open mind is the wisest, most mature, and pro-growth mode of thinking and acting. I can remind others and myself to always give the benefit of the doubt to a situation or person because each is fighting his or her own battle and you have very little idea of the other’s situation and background.
It’s easy to judge another because as humans we either naturally, or are taught to, base initial judgments on immediate sensual information. What one understands through sensory feeding isn’t the full picture although we often seem to believe so. We apply images, pre-experienced situations, and memories when experiencing a new thing or person. All of these things factor into being judgmental.
Fear of judgment reduces my assertiveness because I’m afraid of what others may think of me, and I’m also strongly averse towards being thought of, judged, and categorized unfairly and mistakenly. The thing is, I will always meet these unpleasant situations wherever I go in life so I will learn to act without this fear and without care towards how others may judge or think of me.

B. Why do people demand a reason for others' behavior? How does constant rationalizing and defending my behavior affect my relationship with others?

People demand a reason for others’ behavior because they want to understand the causes for such behavior. Constant rationalizing and defending my behavior affects my relationship with others because I seem to be very carefully watching myself, calculating every move or action, and drawing into myself too much. This in return makes me introverted and unfriendly because I’m constantly weighing things in the balance. I do not wish to lose control over what I am capable of.
I don’t defend my behavior as much as I rationalize it. In fact, I spend hardly any, if any at all, time defending my behavior because I am my own boss and do what I like. I do enjoy rationalizing because this is a large part of my habitual mental processing. Rationalizing the next action or choice makes me levelheaded and prepared because I’ve thought things through more thoroughly. There are times when I spontaneously jump into something on the spur of the moment for excitement, a new experience, and the novelty of whatever action it may be.

C. How do I feel about being blamed for others' problems? How fair is this? What is the usual outcome of such blaming?

I loathe being blamed for others’ problems and find it very unfair to be pinned for something I had no part in. On the scale of fairness and perfect equality vs. diabolical discrepancies of unfairness, it is about 70 % towards the unfairness point.
The usual outcome for people blaming me for something I didn’t do is that my temper flares momentarily, but then immediately subsides into logical thinking and rationalization. I make it very clear that the misrepresentation of my actions and mistaken blaming of myself was wrong, often through strong oral communication.

D. How comfortable am I with allowing others to have a change of mind? Why is it so important for others to be predictable? What is the worst thing that could happen if I changed my position midway through an argument?
I appreciate and welcome people changing their minds in terms of changing their opinions and thoughts. It helps them broaden their minds’ hemispheres and is healthy and productive.
When people change their minds about a plan of action that’s already been laid out or scheduled, it annoys me because I’ve already gotten mentally and often physically prepared for that plan. I dislike having to change for another person. It frustrates me when you can’t rely on someone. It is human to change one’s mind and I am still getting used to this.
I think it’s important for others to be predictable when it comes to important things in life like when others depend on one, when lives, when health, when long-term positive consequences, and when money is at stake. It’s not so important to be predictable when the consequences of your actions aren’t important, affective, and drastic.
The worse thing that could happen if I changed my position midway through an argument is that I’d be seen as wishy-washy and unreliable. Both are things I don’t enjoy being labeled as but can live with.

E. How comfortable am I living in a situation in which the outcome is unknown? Why do I have such a great need for certainty in my decision making? How comfortable am I in taking risks?

On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the most uncomfortable and 1 being the least, I’d say that I’d be around an 8 of discomfort about not knowing the outcome of a situation I’d be living in. I do not feel peaceful when I don’t know the outcome.
I make decisions based on past experiences. I know almost certainly what the outcome will be if I make a decision.
I’m uncomfortable at taking risks. I do not wish to get hurt. I prefer doing things that have already proven to give beneficial results instead of taking a risk. I deeply resent wasting time and energy. It’s this sense of loss that I’m running away from. I feel this because I think I’ve lost much in my life already.

Poetry Preening

2010-04-29T00:27:00.004+08:00

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The Shooting Off Of One's Mouth

Cum-like ejaculations

And random recitations

Blurting unstoppable fountains

Squirting my thousand opinions

That span into a moldy pond

My Spout has coldly spawned

Once, fellow onlookers

Now merely by-passers

With curt nods in each other’s affairs

Meanings are now expressed

By hurt shoulders impressed

Into the backsides of wondering stares

Can any of it be un-cum?

Man, pass me a condom.

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Magnetic Words

go tell the world of your red summer dance
after all honored sunshine has gone away
kiss light again before a merry season
festive of taste and life and ha has
sucks your heart drunk dry through tears

instead

...choose to celebrate love again, then shine!

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My bio for the local magazine I'm a small part of and will print the previous 2 poems:

Cha has been known to exit buildings through entrances. Sometimes she forgets how to organise her tongue to communicate. She resorts to holding up invisible signs only members of a certain rare race can decipher. Friends have been known to call her at 6:66am and have received lengthy diatribes about Halloween songs or the state of white meat. Her poems have perfected the outcome of jellyfish sting competitions. Most know her as the one who uses the bathroom, and its contents, too much.

The Difference Between Teacher Training Workshops and Theme Parks... The Snack Bars.

2010-03-22T00:44:00.002+08:00

Saturday I attended a teacher's workshop for workers of oh-great-and-wondrous American Eagle Institute, my employers' headquarters. The hr long drive north from Taichung was the most previously dreaded part of the trip as I'd come to loathe spending time with two of my co-workers who are from a Canadian village who's name I've forgotten and Virginia. These two constantly keep up a continuous prattle of complaining and bickering to the point where it's more pleasurable to listen to my neighbors singing karaoke through concrete echoing walls. I can't really stand karaoke. ... Sat.. it was spent coming down with a stomach virus while sitting in the front row of a classroom of mostly white people wanting to be somewhere else but there. The lectures have gotten slightly more organized since the one I attended a year or so ago and focused on phonics, reading, and discipline. I am a good disciplinarian and so hadn't needed to waste that time silently moaning and wishing for bed, rest, and care-taking.

When back in Taichung I got diagnosed with viral gastroenteritus, the stomach flu. Wiping out at home could only ever be, and was, interrupted by a friend calling, pleading me to join them at Ross' iLearn school party which included Asti Champagne... YEAH baby! The night passed happily with men and a surprising number of girls all joining in on the drinking game where each playing card corresponds to a rule. Ace- have 1 drink. King - drink the cup of nasty mix of everyone's drinks. Queen - add some of your drink to the cup in the middle of the card pile... and on it goes. My fave was the card 6, Truth or Dare. I dared a Taiwanese girl to run all around our outdoor drinking and lounging area AND over to the Family Mart (a 7-Eleven equivalent), singing a song. She chose Happy Birthday. For the next dare I told a Taiwanese guy to go over to the small group of people sitting in front of the Family Mart and to pass out iLearn brochures and name cards and to market the school. :D I had fun. A few of the guys kept saying that the person being dared had to cross over to the adjacent and imposing police station and tell a cop he or she loved them. That's just killing the buzz.

Sunday started at 7:54 when Ping, champagne supplier, phoned and told me to get ready for the day's trip to Sun Moon Lake. Pics will show on Fbook soon. Everyone is bleary brained and tired from last night. I'm glad I went home at midnight, an early point, since I was feeling queasy. Ping had only 3 hrs of sleep and drove us with occasional grumblings and swearings at traffic. First stop, temple on hill overlooking much of the Lake. Pretty for photos and capitalism. Next stop was divine and real cause for worship, delicious Chinese food set on a round table with the revolving circle in the middle. Have you seen them? You just spin the round tray of food in the middle of the table and noone needs to pass anything. It's fucking awesome. The best Chinese meals are served in restaurants that include these tables. We had in consecutive order, sticky rice with pork bits steamed in thick bamboo poles, local fern-like veggies in two different flavors which were scrumptious, a local deer-like animal meat stir-fried with greens, deep friend baby shrimp in batter which you pop in your mouth whole, stir-fry tofu with mushrooms and mixed veg, broth of lily-like flowers and pork, and last but the blast, a platter with small flames still heating the large dish of a whole sweet juicy fish in ginger and spring onions, etc. Oh, fried rice made its way somewhere in there. Green tea and OJ was always around.

Ross passes out in the car. Ping (a fab, fab drinking buddy/party mate), Kristy (Ross' amiable and very kind cousin visiting for a few months), Sven (Ross' German friend staying for a week who's half beer and the other part laughs), and I stroll around the tourist area and pier where pink painted boats topped with a flag saying Stylized Tour take you across the water to the other side where the same thing is repeated. Our moods are more jovial and we're content to finally be satiated and with hangovers slightly appeased. Smokes are lit. Massive cups, no small pails, of rich red ice tea are bought for 25nt each. We are set with enough tea till the Armageddon.

A momentary break is in the shade laying on a blanket. Bowels are being constantly emptied. This activity takes up much of our time, jokes, and thoughts for the day. Haha. You know how it is the day after boozing.

It's then onwards to the 9 Tribe Aboriginal Cultural Park. This theme park is cultural indeed, with much important reference given to the local indigenous tribes shown at the entrance of the park by a European palace, a copy garden of Versailles that had a mini-train choot around its perimeter, Thai pavilion spirit houses every now and then, metal sculptures of local indigenous people shooting their arrows or huggin their children, and a wide fountain in the middle complete with fiber-glass butterflies mounted on poles around it. More toilet runs.

Up the steps are more cultural things like Aladdin's cave (or crack, I forgot), of blinking lights and swinging or rolling seats. We didn't bother to enter but file in a long queue, which was shorter than the other queues, for an open bus ride to the top of the park. After another mile-long queue we're floating cheerily and breezily in a comfortable cable car through the mist over a few hills, sighting a sleeping body of water hazy with fog, and then descending once again into a quarter of Taiwan's population. Refreshments and beer are acquired. We rest and await for our return tickets' numbers which are in the....18,000's! An electronic sign says 1,000 people alight the cable cars every 30 mins.... Fimmy Feck!

2 more cable car rides back. My next adventure: A UFO ride that takes the sheepole (sheep + people), with legs flaying and palms sweating, up to about 150 feet... then a shocking drop down in 2 seconds. I trip as I climb the steps away from this fall of a ride. Man, it's frightening and freaking Fucks You Up! It's right next to the Mayan Adventure roller coaster with lines starting inside a REAL Mayan ziggurat! We wait a long time to get seats at the very front of the roller coaster. A sign says we'll be feeling a G Force of 4.5. Surre. This ride, I absolutely fucking LOVE. It is an intense, nerve wracking, thinking-your-feet-are-going-to-get-chopped-off, belly cramping best few mins of year 2010. Oh baby, let the speeding begin! I am taking up race car driving.

Back in Taichung I take Ping and Kristy to one of my fave Japanese noodle shops. There's soup to soul soothe, still sizzling tofu in light sauce, little starters.... and the noodle soup... love.

My Name Is Earl runs through our numbed heads...

My day of many days is done.

A Pickle's End

2009-12-30T10:50:00.005+08:00

It's been well over 3 months since my last post, and I can't say much about the consistency of my posting before then. Sometimes I don't have anything to write about, at other times I think keeping an online journal is being too open for my naturally secretive nature. At other times, I wonder if my posting is even worth my time as who reads this stuff?

Christmas came and went and clobbered me like a caveman's roughly hewn club equally in the head as well as in my belly. Weeks of flying to the yoga studio to peer endlessly at my crotch through tangled limbs, sometimes in a 36-42 degrees Celsius heated studio, and of much bodily cleansing through liquid or vegetarian diets has all been smashed to a Mexican pulp infused with copious amounts of wine and vodka smoked heavily with the Dunhill flavor. Wanting to look and feel great for the festivities, I forgot to factor in my undying love for food, my reigning god, alcohol, and all the cold weather that I hear quite often comes at the end of the year causing snow in some parts and most assuredly thick wool coverings or sleeping-bag type fashion. --Not the best for showing off a yoga tortured but toned and fit booty. But then, when remembering when a friend asked me what the point is in cleansing if you're just going to eat junk later? I reply weeks later, what's the point in taking a shower if you're just going to get dirty again?

Life this year has been.... Okay, where's my drink? I hope you weren't expecting end of the year philosophizing, heartfelt lessons learned, or knowledge which mother earth and porn-loving grandfather universe has imparted. You'll get nothing but ramblings from someone who claims to know the meaning of life but so far has chosen to drink away those memories of meanings. Vocabulary memorizing and incorporation into daily usage smells like farts... Or a pickle's end. What is all of this emphasis for on progression? 2010. Fantastic roman numeral.

My warm tidings of great joy:

- Drinking, getting shit-faced for 48 hrs then resting a night then getting shit-faced for another 48 hrs, at the end of the year is an attempt to cover, disguise, and hopefully change depression over what has not been accomplished, found, or made.

- Meeting up with family makes me never want to become accomplished or grown up... ie: married, a breeder, settled down (We'll see how I feel at next year's pickled end.)

- Cleanse and exercise...even if you're just going to get down and dirty again. I hear a pickle makes a juicy partner for getting down and dirty. Just watch out for the end.

Girls’ Sat Night Live

2009-04-08T13:38:00.004+08:00

Location: No.569, Dajin Alley, Nantun District, Taichung, Taiwan.

Time: 7:30pm – 1:30am, April 4,’09

Dress code: Cool, Comfortable, and Creative

8 people said they’d be making their way over for an evening of girl talk, gossip, games, and grinning. Mainly, I wished for a relaxing and easy time spent in good conversation and catching up with great friends. I spent the afternoon cleaning and preparing for the night’s festivities. (Some may say I’m anally retentive. I just see myself as a perfectionist lazy-arse.) I wanted to get everything perfect, which meant a sparkling clean house, fresh and accessible dinnerware, and plenty of food to snack on. The deliciousness included cheeses, olives stuffed with almonds, pickles, French bread, chocolate and orange muffins, mini croissants with chocolate bits inside, pears, grapes, vegetable sticks with dip, tomatoes, bell fruit, and dark chocolates. Best of all, there was the champagne.

Mmm, endless fizzy bubbly,
This is my ode to thee.
Bottles of tinted green, adorned in
Golden crinkly.
POP!
Goes the anal top.
With applause and girlish singing,
Rapid pouring then delighted clinking.

Yumm…jizz on my tongue
Slide crisply down me
Warm me eagerly
Caress my belly
Play with me.

Aven who I hadn’t invited, called me up and asked if she could join us. Of course! She then arrived half an hour later carrying a bottle of red, an hour earlier than party start time. Ha. Esther soon arrived with 2 packages of juicy, pink bell-fruit. Esther is an adorable looking girl with one of the most creative local minds I’ve met on this island. She’s an artist and is presently focusing her energy and lovely talent on metal work. She has a pair of personally made silver earrings that make all the girls in the room swoon. Next, Jules came with SIX bottles of Asti Martini! This is the first time I’ve seen her since her return from a month-long break from work. She was hit by a car and tore a couple of knee tendons. Poor babe. It’s been a rough one for her. Daisy showed up next, grinning to make her tardiness less obvious. Haha. I love this girl to death and haven’t seen her in what feels like ages. We hang out virtually every weekend. You could say we’re drinking and traveling buddies. She’s the first one I’d call if I was in a deep emotional hole or in need of a chat about a guy I’m really into… or really not into. Even though we don’t speak the same languages very fluently, there’s often an unmistakable understanding between us. Anyhow, we’ve mostly bonded over drinking, boys, and traveling. Best trio of my life so far! Now when those three are combined…hold on to your shorts, honey. Literally.

We spend the next few hours just chatting and catching up on all the latest. I just let it all flow which is rare when I’m hosting. At previous parties I’ve thrown, I’m usually running around stressing about this and that. Having a good time, yes, but not really enjoying it or slipping into the mood of those gathered. Anyhow, not tonight. I wonder why. Maybe it was my knowing that everything really was perfect this time. I wore a new fave T that I bought while on a trip outside of Taichung. The girl on it reminded me of Esther. One interesting thought is that I’m normally dressed to the nines for parties or Sat night. Recently, I’ve been changing this. It shows that I’m just less desperate or worried about what kind of impression I’d make. Horny, hot DUDES? Occasionally. Well-rounded, intellectual, and healthy MEN that may be potential lovers? A resounding, nooooo. Anyways, it’s also so much more fun to be entirely me, comfortable, confident, and cool. Not just look like an intoxicated sex kitten ready to jam a heel up your crotch when you send a jeer my way.

Daisy and Aven then must meet other friends of theirs at an American stylized bar, FM. I’d sooner run through the town naked than subject myself to that awful place on Sat night. Bars and clubs in Taichung are typically full of either lame English teacher types, who are actually kids either fresh out of college or on their way to backpack the world, or engineers who are fat, ugly, and often married. Both types usually have the God complex developed from being in a country that stares at and treats white people with more interest and preference. Today, as I mused over yet another photo of a stunning young Taiwanese babe being played with by a guy many in the western world would categorize as a toilet-face, I was thinking for the 10, 983rd time about the absolutely fucked-up dynamics of the Taiwanese treatment of white men. It dawned on me that maybe the reason why white men are preferred by the local girls, is that the THINKING is what perhaps makes them more attractive. --Not the ugly, long nose stubbing the air underneath the mousy hair. Nor is it the oily fluorescent colored skin mottled with acne spots or blond shin fur. It’s the darn mind-sets, perspectives, and dare I say, personalities! The Taiwanese men are usually categorized as being very metro-sexual, walking computers, or chauvinistic business butt-holes. All three types have no idea what women think and want. I shudder to think of what happens in the privacy of Taiwanese bedrooms. Seriously, the noises are disturrrbing. Let’s just say the Japanese have extended their influence to more than just fashion here. Aii yai yaa!

The Russians arrive. Enter Nina and a newly introduced, and beautiful, Tatiana. These two light up the party and send smiles rocking into the scene with their simplicity, sweetness, and good humor…not to mention frequent FYIs about their home countries. Apparently, A-long-cock (Alianka) is a common Russian female name. Thanks Nina. Oh yes, more champagne, Chardonnay, and grapes. Spasibo.

Geraaald and Miss Andrea finally join us. We are now a full party and break out the cards. After a few games, new lessons and laughter, we head to the Spanish watering hole, and personal fave of a few of ours, La Bodega. We’re all pretty inebriated at this point. Happy but not hysterical…yet. Jules teaches us Spoons. Mmmm… a new fave. We pass the cards to the next person as we try to get a set of four. Whomever does that first, must grab one of the spoons situated in the center of the table. There’s one less than the number of players, so if you’re the last, and left without a bloody SPOOON, you’re penalized. Who the hell thought of the chicken dance??!! I can say, at least 8 of them were performed that night, much to the delight and amusement of the other bar patrons. This would be all the action they’d be getting tonight!! Of course, there was the old time fave, Nick Names. Each person picked a nick. We started with cocktail names, obviously. If similar cards are played, then the people who have the same cards must immediately call the other person’s nick name. The last one loses, gets all the cards, and is of course, laughed at… haha. Hilarity ensues when names are tricky, hard, or bizarre. We’ve played with name brands, fruit names, candy names, etc. F.U.N.

At 4, the bar finally calls it a night and we find ourselves driving to the next establishment. The town is actually dead on this weekend as everyone is at the southern most city of Taiwan partaking of the once-a-year catastrophe that is the Spring Scream. To subject yourself to intense heat, stinky, wasted, high, loud, dumb, young, and full of cum hoards and hoards of people, mountains of garbage taller than me, horrible acoustics from bands no one cares about, DJ music my little bro could top using his ten year old laptop and keyboard, over-priced trash for food that makes 7-Eleven a preferred option, and just utter chaos DOES NOT seem appealing to me. It’d be similar to jabbing long, pointy needles into my head and slowly rotating them. One of my co-workers actually slept on the beach TWO nights in a row and showed up at work looking like he’d just taken a long soak in beet red dye. You know who you are… idiot. Oh sorry, it’s called roughing it, being hard core or tough…no wait a minute, it’s one of those fang-dangled modern past-times people actually call recreation these days. It’s called camping.

I decide I’ve had enough for the night. I want to leave still feeling good, and not wait till the mood turns sour or desperate. Thank you all to a wonderful evening spent in the best company in this centrally located borough of ours. We made it rock just by being…. And not needing.

My next day’s Facebook status: “Cha L. is still buzzing from a fab girls' night and loves that you loved it too.... hugs and bugs babes!! Champagne is the new tequila! I'm doing this again...and again. Sexual connotations intended, as always. :-D ”

In Reply to My Manager's Email.

2009-03-27T22:26:00.003+08:00

Hey Vivian,

It's interesting to hear about all your dreams and thoughts. Being a part-time teacher and tutoring privately, as in teaching at your home or in their home, is a lot of work. I've done it many times in the past. I've only taught English and dance lessons, but I'm sure the following ideas and thoughts from my experience can be used on many occasions.

The first kind of private classes can be really laid back and casual, where you pretty much help them with their English homework, have casual conversation with them, and have really relaxed classes. My friend has been doing this for years and the results are pretty good, I think, as both you and the kids are relaxed. You can choose to focus on just one part or subject of English that the kids need help with. I don't know how many immediate results you would get from teaching this way, but the benefits are that you don't have to plan and feel stressed that the kids aren't improving very quickly. Of course, the parents may also have to expect that this style of private tutoring won't bring about quick results or fast improvement in their kids' English. The down side is that you can't charge much.
The other type of private tutoring is the type that I've done a lot of before. This is where you prepare a lot, you must spend time researching good material and activities/games to be used. The parents may or may not have an already prepared and set curriculum. If they do, than many times it's not good enough. If they don't, than you'll have to find some decent, affordable, and very good books to use which is very difficult in this non-English speaking country. As the kids progress, you'll need to change the teaching material constantly to suit the kids' changing needs. These kinds of classes are usually intense with a lot packed into the short time. They can be fun too, but they're much more work as you put in a lot of time to prepare. A high price is charged for these kinds of classes. The kids usually benefit A LOT and everyone can expect immediate results. They are tiring for the teacher and to be honest, quite stressful to handle if you're also keeping another day-time job at a company.
If you're worried about yourself not having enough experience, than you should just start out slowly. Don't give yourself too much to begin with. As you gain more experience, as well as confidence, than do more. I'd suggest starting out with only one or two groups of children, and teaching them a few times a week. That's a lot to start out with already as because they are private classes, you'll be much closer to the students and will need to give special attention where needed. This is mainly what private tutoring is about and this is why parents invest a lot of money into this special attention and care their kids can get.

Ways you can improve your English:

Speak.

Don't stop speaking and push yourself when you feel shy or worried about your improper grammar or pronunciation. I think that when learning a new language, speaking is the most useful part as once you get that part down sufficiently, it gives you a great sense of satisfaction and confidence.
Some ways to speak more is to have a language exchange, have friends that can speak English to you all the time, learn songs in English, have a set time every day where you speak ONLY English no matter what language everyone else is speaking, etc.Listen.
Some suggestions of things you can listen to are English songs, movies (Chinese or English movies with Chinese or English subtitles.), you can buy some CD's that are especially for learning English (listen and repeat out loud right away. This is good speaking practice too.), with every new thing you hear, repeat it a few times and make at least 3 sentences with that new word or vocabulary, listen to yourself speak and correct what you want to improve, you can do some listening exercises where you write down what you hear by memory, etc.

Read.

To me, reading is the most important part in studying a new language. Read anything and everything you want and can. (Reading is my biggest passions. I LOVE poetry and a perfectly written book, fiction and nonfiction. Perhaps this is what's helped me the most with English.)
A VERY helpful and useful way to improve quickly, when reading, is to research and find out about anything that you don't understand, be it a new word or a phrase.
You must keep a list of new vocabulary and new phrases. (I personally find it very helpful to make a few sentences after each new word that I add to my vocabulary list. Yes, I don't only make the kids to makes sentences! HA.) Review these new words and things and try to use them in your every day conversations. It's fun and it's a great way to see yourself improving.
Reading should be fun otherwise you'll never finish what you started. Get some women's fashion magazines, novels, comic books, or whatever you find interesting and makes you want to read for fun, entertainment, and knowledge, and not for just reading to practice reading. I hope I'm being clear enough.

Write.

Write letters, poetry, essays, stories, etc.
Do English puzzles and crosswords for fun and practice.
To get the creativity flowing, get a piece of paper and a pen and write the first things that come to your mind. When doing this activity, do not pay any attention to correct grammar, spelling or punctuation. Just write whatever comes.
Keep a diarybut written in English.
When you read something that touches you or something that you find very cool, interesting, or something that just makes you think.... write it down in a special book for these sayings, quotes, and phrases.
Keep a notebook near you so you can write anything that you don't know or anything that confuses you. When you have time, later find out about the meanings of those things. (Realizing how much you're progressing is an important part of the process. It not only feels good to see yourself improving, but it also makes you want to continue.)

How do I feel about teaching for so many years? Good question!! Ha. I don't think I had much of a choice, to be honest. I've ALWAYS been around kids and have usually been involved in training them in one form or another. I am actually very happy to have had so much experience with kids. I feel like I've invested my time well and I've learned priceless lessons for self-improvement. There are things that can only be learned by taking care of children and nowhere else. Personally, I think it REALLY affects who you are as you're constantly being watched. The kids see you as their role model and this makes you have to be really careful. Heh. I've got to be careful with what I do because they'll copy me.

Being a teacher is more than just teaching that subject. A teacher is the one that's showing them how to become an adult. You're the one that's teaching them how to live and grow, basically. Kids notice EVERYTHING! Their brains are smarter and brighter than ours! That's why it's such a challenging, yet tiring, job. I think teachers have one of the most important jobs in the world. We're shaping the future leaders and bosses of the world! We should actually have the HIGHEST pay and be taken care of the best! By doing so, ALL the people on this planet would reap the great benefits... think about it! By having great teachers, kids will grow up mentally and hopefully emotionally healthy and stable. They'll produce effective and resourceful kids of their own who will in turn make even better teachers! I think smarter and happier people will run businesses and governments if that happens! Haha... I'm 85% sure of this theory. :-D In truth, I think I'm being paid sufficiently. I just wish the world would realize how important a well-rounded and fantastic education system is. Of course, there are schools that function at a desirable level, and teachers that are taken care of well, but these places only available for the few who have the money.

I have to say, generally I've had fair to good working experiences in environments that are considered good for Taiwanese standards. American Eagle does take care of its Western teachers and I am thankful for having this job. I feel needed, valuable, and appreciated which makes me very happy. I love my kids.

Creating a close connection with your students is what really helps you make an excellent teacher. When you have that personal relationship with them, then you of course care much more for their progress. This in turn motivates you to become an even better teacher where you enjoy working harder for the goal of the students' improvement. When they see that you sincerely care about them, and that you're not just doing a job, than it makes a complete difference. This is something I've had to learn and I'm so very glad that I see it now.

WOW! I've typed A LOT! Well, I'm sure you're happy to receive this! Haha. I really don't mind helping out those who I can and who are thankful for it, like you. So, don’t worry about asking. There’s no other way to learn about something you want to know about, right? Basically, teachers and mothers are very similar.

It's a great job, but not for everyone.

Enjoy!

10 reasons to/not to fuck...

2009-01-22T21:40:00.001+08:00

Did you know that we can determine if a person is sexually active or not by looking at her skin?

1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests have shown that a woman who has sexual relations produces big amounts of estrogen which makes her hair shiny and soft. (Does that include all body hair?)

2. To make love, in soft and relaxed ways, reduces the possibilities of suffering from dermatitis and acne. The sweat produced cleans pores and makes the skin shine. (If I just sit in front of my oven or tv without and AC on, will I be able to clean my pores that way too? And isn't shiny skin unattractive?)

3. Making love allows us to burn calories. (Isn't this the main reason why we fuck?)

4. Sex is one of the safest sports. It strengthens and tones all body muscles. It is more enjoyable than doing 20 laps in the pool. And you don't need special shoes! (I'm still sticking to watching TV.)

5. Sex is an instantaneous cure against depression. It frees endorphines in the blood flow, creating a state of euphoria and leaves us with a feeling of well-being. (What about drinking, and then ending up wasted? I could draw up a long list of the good qualities of wine, too. I think they'd be strikingly easier then going for a romp.)

6. The more we make love, the more we have the capacity to do it more. A body sexually active releases a higher amount of pheromone. This subtle aroma excites the opposite sex ! (Oven odor anyone?)

7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFICIENT THAN VALIUM. (But valium is just a quick pop away.)

8. Kissing every day allows us to avoid the dentist. Kisses produce saliva, which aids in cleaning teeth and lowers the quantity of acids which cause enamel weakening. (Note: Must kiss to avoid dentist, must avoid kiss to dentist, must avoid dentist to kiss, dentist too must avoid kiss.......)

9. Sex relieves headaches. Each time we make love, it releases the tension in brain veins. (What about headaches received during and after fucking? Are those relieved through some other way or form of making love?)

10. To make love a lot can heal a nasal congestion. Sex is a natural antihistaminic. It helps fight asthma and spring allergies. (Bring on the asthmatic boyfriend. ...............Now where did I put those prostitutes' numbers....)

My first 2009 entry with a bang.

2009-01-15T01:45:00.005+08:00

While I wait for my newly installed Kaspersky anti-virus program to update and start protecting my newly-fixed-for-the-second-time-notebook computer, I listen to soothing, narcotic blends of ambient chillout tunes from one of my most selected music churners, Café Del Mar.

I have a cold that’s gotten me sneezing at a slight fluctuation of temperature or movement, hacking from my chest in the middle of stressing the importance of present continuous-fuck-off-tense-my-ass, straining to draw breath from nostrils that are as stuffed as a smelly trash can after a 12-hour Christmas dinner, and a sore throat that enables me to croak and crank my way through the few hours of absolute pleasure I receive while teaching in such a congested state. Let’s not forget the throbbing bubble of seething florescent green goo I have vibrating just behind my eyes, and at my temples, that’s biding it’s time to simply explode out of any one, or all, of my orifices, bursting forth in a flow of gangrene-like volcanic spillage. This pocket of happy, healthy, and sexually active virus-germs has accumulated in what feels like my brain, blocking my ear canals, and thus throwing me completely off balance. It is now a pleasure to watch myself try to race down Zhong-Ming Rd, as thick as a doll wrapped in 6 layers of sleeping bags, almost falling over as my equilibrium twists and takes an about-flip from a mere turn to the right, fully intent on catching that last class of 2 hours with shy pubescent, junior high school girls and Nike wearing punks with pineapple-cut hair styles and hairless shins who like to tell me I’m pretty and then get the blood drained out of their faces when I retort that I’ll tell your mom what you just said!

I’ve received disturbing messages from someone I recently added as a “friend” on Facebook, who I’ll call Vinny-the-alien-who-married-his-sister’s-son. First he tells me, reminds me, without need, who he is and how we know each other. THAAANKS! I did actually momentarily forget when I clicked on the add button. He proceeded to leave a few rude, slightly obscure, and definitely out of place messages including one that advises me to become a vegetarian if I have any spiritual integrity at all because Turkey doesn’t like me. WTF?? --Which is my reply. Apparently, this sort of reaction gets his blood rushing to parts where the sun definitely doesn’t shine for him. I’m then harassed with notes of his past, yet unrequited feelings for me and then told that, yes, I also felt the same for him. When I tell him simply and directly that I don’t like him and never have, and that he disgusts me, I’m rewarded with what is understandably the dry, crummy end of a masturbation stint gone limp.

I am a no-tittie, hoe.

(Spelled with an ‘e’.)

:D

My Kaohsiung Weekend

2008-12-17T21:05:00.004+08:00

I loved it. Everything about the trip, the people, the weather, and the environment made me want to stay longer than I previously planned to. It was one of those trips that started out without any expectations at all. Ok, besides the usual knowledge that one of these nights we are DEFINITELY going to drink ourselves into oblivion. If someone had told me that this weekend would turn out to be such a fond memory, I wouldn't have believed them.

We had been friends for years. Our families worked together ages ago. His older brother and sister were in my class 15 years ago. We all own photos of those years spent grinning, like typical carefree 9-10 year olds do, on road trips visiting the poor, performing for large audiences in our flashy attire, or we're simply having the best times of our lives being engrossed in some activity or silly game.

I had such a great time with these guys. Sarah is married and has a Shirley Temple look-a-like toddler who gives me the evil eye from across the table when in a bad mood, or pretends to put on make up while I do my own. Their apartment, where I stayed at for two nights, was small but homey, with an 8 foot tall C'mas tree included! ( It was a gift.) She still has her beautiful long, brown hair that curls naturally into wild rings. I've always admired her gorgeous hair and mostly, just the way she was always so comfortable with people. She always had such a warmness about her that showed when she giggled heartily about something that tickled her. It feels so good to tell people what you've thought all these years, but just haven't gotten around to it.

I got a ride down with one of Nat's mates, Ken, who also lives in this central city of ours, Taichung. The guy had been up till the early morn the previous night, but still managed to make it to Kaohsuing in 2 and a half hours. We passed the time discussing this and that while I attempted to paint my face while he swerved between other cars on the highway.

And it's great to see Nat. It seems like his appearance hasn't changed that much, although there is a slightly maturer, or more thoughtful air about him. Maybe I've just never paid that much attention, but I really enjoy being in his company. Sat night is spent meeting up with his friends and partying it up. They took us to an "Italian" pasta house which of course, is NOTHING like what it advertises. I get a stomachache from the sugary "tomato" sauce that drenches my noodles in a goopy, sickening sweetness.

Next stop, the Kaohsuing wharf. We sit on the deck while musicians crone cover songs behind us. I make conversation with Emma, an interesting young woman who works on the HSR. She tells me all about the nasty things her work includes, such as older men making passes at her or trying to touch her, etc. She tells me I should try to find a job at a check-in counter at the Singapore airport. Somehow, we've gotten onto that topic. As the wind picks up and my cappuccino cools down, I push to head somewhere else. I talk on the phone with Daisy, my dear party mate and close girlfriend in Taichung. She's sick and up in the chilly hills, but with friends who have all gone to bed at 11. I think we both wish she was with me. Mwahaha...

After much deliberation and information, we hit Private Party. The place isn't as seedy as it sounds. Although the odd, psychedelic, florescent hangings are a strange sight in the otherwise comfortable but small underground lounge. Like so many new places that are springing up in every city, it seems, there are deep red sofa sets that surround a bar and small dance floor, where everyone can stare or be stared at. The Taiwanese are so fucking weird. They pay to get into a place like this that's only meant for one thing...to bloody dance. And yet they DON'T. The Three people I'm with are "flying." I'm trying to drink my way into the same state. Of course, I'm not succeeding. My liver has put up with harsh enough liquor in the past few days, and the cocktails I'm pounding one after another are barely making a difference. When the boys step out for some "air", I sit and smoke non-stop at the bar. Something I haven't done in many weeks. (I'm glad I have stopped this old habit of mine. It is something to do when sitting and feeling alone at a bar...damn men should mine their own bloody business!)

Nat dances non-stop and often asks me if I'm ok. He's so cute, sweet, thoughtful, and very considerate. How come I've never realized this? I guess it's because this is the only time we've actually ever hung out as people, instead of kids. He worries that I'm bored. I tell him that his great dancing is more than enough. It is!

Whoa! I bump into some other regular party goers who are also from Taichung!! What are they doing here? Oh, they're just like me, bored of the usual scene back home and are looking for something new to see and do. They're not very impressed with Private Party. One girl asks where all the foreign men are. (Probably at a seedier bar..) After a time, the music starts to intensify by deafening us with it's pumped up volume and generic thumping. Also, we find it difficult to breathe because of a lack of plain air. Time to move on.

Next stop, Dreams. Ew. More like nasty, sticky dreams...the kind where you wake up in a sweat and wonder what in the world brought on something so random. The place was a packed meat market that served all you can drink toilet water out of jugs. I took one sip, poured it out, and then asked for ice. This place was suffocating in almost every way. I feel uncomfortable in large crowds, and when there are people, drunk people, glancing at you, not leaving you alone, continuously hanging around you, then that's when I hate it even more. God, I'm so over that stage in my "party life".

I'm so outta there. I have to pull my friend away from it all. He's having a ball as he's just started feeling pumped again after a round of whisky. Oh well, I was tired of it all.

On the way home, I get a nice but sweet surprise...And that's where my story ends for this day.

On the following day, we drowsily make our way through the routine of meeting friends, shopping, hanging out at the oh-so-favorite tea/coffee shops that the Taiwanese revolve their social times around. We drink a soupy, powdery "green" tea that has some grains floating on the top. Chris, a guy from Taichung, tells me it's Japanese and thus healthy for me. Of course it bloody is. ANYTHING Japanese, steamy, and green is healthy for me...

In the evening, I play cards with the family. Sarah and I catch up after many years of not much contact. Oh the things we used to do and the bitch of our class we used to have to put up with. This is what I love most, just hanging, catching up, re-living, chatting, laughing, reminiscing...

Great times. Sweet memories.

Elegy - post viewing reaction.

2008-12-02T01:56:00.006+08:00

Stunning.

"How is it possible for me to still be involved in the carnal aspects of the human comedy?" - David on old age (Ben Kingsley's character in the film, Elegy.)

"When you make love to a woman you get revenge for all the things that defeated you in life."

"Who am I to you?" she asked me one day... I was too afraid to ask who I was to her.

"Beautiful women are invisible; we never actually see the person; we see the beautiful shell; we're blocked by the beauty barrier. We're so dazzled by the outside that we never make it inside."

(Quotes from the movie adaption, Elegy, of the novel, The Dying Animal by Philip Roth. )

Sex, love, loneliness, aging, and the human interaction of two completely opposite (Or are they?) characters that merge in a tale told countless times already...but why does it make me want to watch it again, and again?

I am floored by the script. I am in love with Penelope Cruz now, and of course it's not just about the absolute perfection of her breasts. Ben Kingsley has always been good, but after watching this, I can see he is even better than good.

I have much more to say about this new favorite film. But I refuse to mar your personal viewing experience.

"What, the Fuck?"

2008-11-18T23:02:00.004+08:00

If I may be frank
I have nothing towards you.
Just holding myself against you,
Fuck me beautiful.

Another mad night out.
I'll be at the rave on the beach
Next week.
I know I'll see many of you there.

As for this clashing trance
I'll hardly give it a glance
When I think of what
I'll always have beside
Me.

If anyone appreciates
Fact's bare ass
Lets hope our tracks crash.
Then I'll suck you
Beautiful.

2008-11-18T22:57:00.008+08:00

Performing Artist

festival: "endless landscape"
by the synalphe dance company from france
at avant garde theatre
no. 2, lane 5, guling st.
zhongzheng district
taipei

i'm a small slice
of the seeking
sitting groups
of audience circles

five of you
feel for our energy
in your darkness
sightless
eyes
free you, give you, reward you
infinite space
to dance in your own place

show me, tell me

of your performing art
with your indescribable grace
seep into me
strangle me
i love you

dance youthful maiden
twirl through the light
flow
bright petals of streaming light

spin circles of youthfulness
spark desire for playfulness
happy child
pretty flower
girl, woman

Cha and Daisy Eat Peng-hu

2008-11-18T22:10:00.007+08:00

I miss and want you.

No bugs have entered yet.

Peng-hu Island scenery.

Cha walks on the water and looks calm.

Freud Pub.

Pier view.

In front of first homey-stay with said ox cart. Day 1.

Daisy and I have been planning for weeks to go to Penghu.
Our itinerary: Spend all the money we bring.
Eat.
Do whatever the hell we want.

1st day: Wed. Aug 20, ‘08

Finally, we are off, and we’re excited. Daisy and I haven’t seen each other in a couple of weeks. We sit next to each other on the small, domestic flight and chat animatedly about past and future travels. With Daisy, I enjoy catching up on recent happenings, wondering aloud about certain bewildering thoughts, and laughing girlishly about things that have to do with men, sex, dating, life, stupidity, etc. We both share a hot passion for traveling, fun, food, and freedom.

After 40 minutes of floating in the air, we touch down at a very vacant yet a very clean airport. Mandarin Airlines charges about 3,000 NT for a round trip flight from Taichung to Ma-Kong, Penghu. We arrive without incident and easily pick up our luggage from one of the cutest and smallest conveyor belts I’ve ever seen. We immediately meet up with Fei Fei, our guide and overseer of the home stay we are booked at.

Driving into the city, I spot a huge golden statue, of some god, seated next to a temple! They’re both perched on the beach and facing the sea in a position that I’m sure holds some symbolism. I smirk as I picture them at the same spot, but with their backs facing the sea as if they were in defiance of the waves and natural elements. We check into a well-used, but homey Love Penghu Home Stay, which was complete with all the typical homey facilities and un-typical but somehow homey ox cart in the front yard. We choose the blue painted room over the orange one. Shells are glued to the walls in patterns and words. Shower curtains lamely cover the large windows.

We rent a scooter, for 300, and drive into town in search of a floating restaurant that specialized in BBQ’d oysters. Closed. Continue on to the main drag of town which is a tourist haven, but a big turn off for me.

We find a restaurant that faces the end of the many souvenir shop lined alleys, and culminates in a plaza overlooking a pier. A fountain, which plays music on the hour, was placed in the middle with onlookers staring at the tall squirts of water enhanced by colorful lighting. At the end, there is a cruise ship that is permanently grounded to land, and has been turned into a shopping center. The best placed Starbucks I’ve seen so far, took over the best viewing spot of the pier.

And of course, there is a 7-Eleven. Apparently, this is what the world is coming to. Damn consumerism reminds me what I am trying to get away from.
We sit on the 3rd floor, of the restaurant, and dine al fresco.

Dinner: Mouth-watering roasted oysters still in their shells, juicy squid in batter stir-fried, chewy sea snails in lots of spices, and some slimy fern-like vegetable.
Outstanding meal!

Next, we pop over to the Freud pub. I have a Tequila Sunrise, and Daze has a Boddingtons Ale. I swear that girl is British on the inside. We see that the Taiwan baseball team has won a baseball game over some other country. Which country it is, escapes me now. I only have interest in sports when I’m with someone I’m interested in, who’s also interested in sports. Hehe. But I suppose more pride for a country which is not yet a country, would help.
Return home.
Meet up with 3 others, including Fei Fei, and head to Shui-li Beach to check out some “shining” sand. I have absolutely no interest in it and splash about in the dark water instead.
Sleep.
Now THAT was magical!

2nd day: Thu., Aug 21, ‘08

Breakfast: Fish sandwich, brown sugar cake (local delicacy), and coffee.
So good, and provided by homey stay.

We wait for a long time to pay and check out. Room and scoot costs 1,500 only. We finally drive off to Ma-Kong city to find a broad rimmed hat for Daze. End up shopping for a couple of hours. I buy a cool purchase of big, off-white starfish earrings. I would regret not taking them home. Bought a tiny New Testament key chain for dad who I know would love it. I also had to grab a couple of little glass bottles to store sand and shells from the Peng-Hu beaches, as souvenirs of the best kind. Would that be pilfering?

While ducking into the ever-present McDonalds franchise, the first rain of our trip appears. Darts of water shoot diagonally towards the cobbled street. Thank god we were indoors. Perfect timing.
A typhoon is coming our way.

Lunch is at a tiny Japanese style noodle shop. The temperature is still way too high for soupy, goopy-ness, and the humidity is seeping into me, constricting me, making me a bitchy crank or cranky bitch.

Lunch: Seafood omelet the Taiwanese way, oyster soup for Daze, and two plates of boiled dark greens.
Slightly lame. The seafood omelet is a variation of the super popular Taiwanese oyster omelet which looks like it has freshly squozen cum on the top, or looks like it’s regurgitated buffet food. THAT oyster omelet! Anyways, the stuff was actually edible and as with most local food, it tastes better than it looks.

More shopping. I buy a pair of flip-flops which have bronze colored glittery straps and brown sponginess to walk on. I grab an extra pair for my sis , who’s soon to be 17, as a b’day gift.
Still, no proper hat in sight. We move on to driving around the rest of the island of Ma-Kong. Stop at a pier to have a cig. She takes a cool pic of me that looks like I’m walking on the water.

Whenever I aim the cam at Daisy, she hides her face, or she smiles for the cam, then scowls at me when I’m done. Haha, I have the power.

Driving through the town makes me realize that the Peng-Hu-ites seem to be quite artistically inclined. Abstract, lively and colorful pictures cover whole sides of buildings. Carved statues pop up all over special places in town. A mural decorates almost the entire facade of a significant looking building. And there are temples EVERYWHERE! They’re around every bend in the road, it seems, and over looking every beautiful view.

We stop at a small beach called Shi-Li. Well, it’s small now as it’s high tide. Waves swell to what looks like 5-7 feet then come crashing down, teasing me with their splaying dance. All I want to do is strip and dive straight into the white, foamy sea…stay underwater until my breath runs out, sway back and forth in the heaving liquid, then be pushed to shore, back to where I belong… only to have sand slide through the openings of my bikini and irritate me. Going back into the water is the only way. Alas, the ocean is too restless and turbulent today. A typhoon was said to be hitting this part of the world, which would make it only number 75.5 this year.

We gather small shells as we pick through splintered wood and small bits of litter thrown onto the beach by the waves.

Chill at a beachfront juice bar with a glass of artificial O.J. that’s flavored with toothpaste. Gross.
Have to return the bike all too soon but I feel we’d done enough at that point. Wait for a bus to take us into the main town where we were to catch another bus that’d take us to yet another island. Daisy and I sit on a low, concrete boulder, with me writing and her listening to her MP3 player with one broken earphone. I occasionally look up at an old lady across the street who is watching us, watching her, watching us watching her.

Bus screeches to a halt when the driver realizes there are actually people waiting for him. Daisy helps hoist the slow-moving old lady onto the vehicle. Another, already seated old lady bitches and swears at us, in Taiwanese, about what is happening. Fucking lunatic. After hearing a few shocking lines aimed at the two who are slowly entering the bus I feel like joining in, except to rave at the raver, Anyhow, we’re just in time for the second bus that is to take us to Xi-Yu. No decrepits on this bus. I lie down and stare out the window. All the scenery blurs into one large moving, symphony of green, hypnotizing me into a welcomed doze.

We’re dropped off at an intersection that’s right smack in the boonies. One of those scenes that is straight from the movies. I search the plains for any life, or neon. We are found by our hotel’s owner and all three of us fit easily onto her scooter. Thank god our larger luggage has arrived before us as the impossible wouldn’t have seemed at all possible if we were to also cram them onto the bike. Now THAT might have made it into the movies.

Hotel/Farm-stay. Mooo… Our bungalow is surrounded by flat grassy plains, with possessed, brown cows, and a cloudy sky. Room is a step up from last night, for sure, with a marble floor, an actual shower, a dresser, a kitsch golden bedcover, fridge, etc. We hop onto a scoot and are off to find some boooooze. This place is just too dead for mine and Daisy’s delicate sensibilities. We need intoxication, hopefully inebriation, which is never a complication… alcohol brings out my inner poetess.

Kaoliang. The only thing available. And squid jerky, the best damn stuff I’ve ever tasted. Still juicy and, man, is it delicious!

Back at the farm, a BBQ is being prepared for us. A lady has a gas bottle and is hosing our small BBQ grill down with bright orange flames, engulfing the poor little frame. Hectic way to go!

Dinner: grilled whole crabs, pink shrimp, such fresh squid, a whole fish covered in sea salt, mushrooms with butter in foil, veggie kebabs, slabs of pork, and tempura.
Mmmind-blowing.

Can’t finish it all. Dessert is kaoliang mixed with fruit/veggie juice. We chink disposable plastic cups to a moment with nothing to complain about!

Digestion takes hours. Movement is slightly painful.

Princesses don’t eat better than this. Oh yes!

That night, Daisy has a strange dream. In it, a man’s spirit enters my body and takes possession of me. My face changed into his, but he still wears my pajamas. This man chases Daisy and wants to strangle her. She grabs a special red envelope, which the Buddhists use to ward off evil, and sticks it onto his head. Only then, does he stop moving.
When she tells me all of this the next morning, I feel anger and annoyance.

“Why don’t you bastard fuckers stay the hell away from my friend!?!!”

The same night, I also have countless, restless dreams. Most of which were stress-filled. I didn’t sleep well and wake up with an aching neck.

3rd day: Fri., Aug. 23,‘08

No breakfast as we wake up too late. Too much Kaoliang perhaps? Too many spirits making sport of us? Maybe they just need to get laid.
Daisy and I discuss last night’s absurdities which were more than just our imaginations.

Brunch: Raw oysters soaking in a liquid of wasabi and garlic (Do not eat first thing in the morning!), stir fried squid, vegetables.
More absurdities.

More scooting about today. Beautiful scenery. Windy cliffs. Crazy weather.
We come upon a town made of old coral houses in ancient Chinese-infused-with-Japanese style. It’s set up as a tourist attraction. Blah… . The look of the coral houses gives me the chills. It’d turn to chills and nerves if I was caught here in the dark. Maybe it’s a feeling leftover from last night. Maybe it’s just my bloody imagination. So what. This whole place has been giving me the fucking creeps since our first sighting of the damn cows. Heh.

Our first rainbow greets us as we drive down another winding path. I stare at the watery colors pouring from the sky in a perfect arch. I want to let it flow over me entirely and get drenched in its seven bands of light.

Return bike. Get a ride into Bai-Sha, our third island. Check into a simple, normal Taiwanese home. We go for a walk around the harbor, well one of the hundreds of harbors they have in Peng-hu. Bai-sha is a let down. Daisy and I say, at the exact moment, how we both thought it’d be beautiful here as Bai-sha means “White Sand” in Chinese.
Upside: We’re conveniently located right next to a convenient store which equals coffee, chocolate, gum, bread, lighters, and cigs.
We see our second rainbow.

Dinner: Seafood noodle soup. Another let-down. We finish our bottle of Kao-Liang.

I write the previous pages.

4th day: Sat. Aug, 23 ‘08

Alarm clocks go off at 7:30! We rush to catch the 9:30 ferry. I’m in double-slow mode as it’s the wrong time of the month for me. I rush to the 7-Eleven and am surprised when they have EVERYTHING on my list and more!

We get on our ferry without problems. The owners of last night’s home stay were so kind and helpful. They even washed our laundry for us! Our ferry is more like a normal sized yacht. Taiwanese are climbing all over the place to take photos, irritating the driver.

We pass a beautiful little island that held nothing but vacant hotel cabins and many tourists eager to enjoy the water activities that populate this area. The people, predominately young people, were so excited and happy to be able to choose from the banana boat rides or jet skis. I wonder why Daisy and I seem so different than them. Were we so different, or were we just tired? Have we become so “traveled” or “cosmopolitan” that we’ve lost our ability to enjoy and laugh at the simplest pleasures that the others our age were laughing at?? Does being experienced mean that you’re also jaded our unappreciative of the things we once found joy in? Maybe it was because we knew of bigger and better things the world had to offer.
Anyway, I have to take a photo and laugh at the Taiwanese taking photos in front of a stern boat driver.

We arrive in windy Zhi-Bei and tow our small suitcases up the ramp. Rent a bike. Follow the herd through large puddles and over small dirt roads. Our hotel: A single structure, 2 stories high, reddish brown on the outside, styled as wooden cabins, cute, and with a pebbled front yard. And the views… They stun me. Room is cozy, small, well decorated, but with a grimy bathroom. Daisy finds out about the maggots first. They crawl along the sink and surrounding walls. Screaming, yelling, and cursing.

Lunch: instant noodles we’d been carrying around since Xi-Yu.

Watch “Sex and the City.” Read. Nap. Take off at last to the BEEEAAACCHHH!!
I love you beachy beach, beach…beach. Mmm, I need more of you.
Small coral pieces cover the shore. Turquoise water sparkles in the sunshine. Tourists, clad in funny Taiwanese swimwear, mental patient helmets, and large, bright life jackets dance in front of the sea as they wait in groups for their turn on the many water toys.

Daisy leaves me on the beach as she preferred to stay out of the heat. She said she’d return in a few hours. I take my stuff to the far end of the beach, far from the madding crowd and noise. As I walk over, a curious man drives past on his bike and asks, “Xiao jie, ni qu na li?” Or, “Miss, where are you going?” He seems confused that I’m alone, in the sun, without an umbrella, and am merely strolling down a beach enjoying the sun, sand, and scenery. The Taiwanese are so weird.

I find a nook. Soak in the water a bit. Don’t want to venture too far out to where I couldn’t touch the ground with my feet as the current seemed to be quite strong and I was the only one in the water for a long way. Bits of coral dig into my feet with every step I take.

I search for more small shells to add to my collection. Another Taiwanese man swims up to me and tells me that I’d get dark if I stayed in the sun. Wow! Thank god I now know!
Soak. Sun. Sand. Shells. Sit. Repeat.

The same man passes by again with a friend, this time, and asks if I was from Peng-hu, and if I’m alright.
I write on some travel guides. Marvel at the beauty before me.

Text to friends: “I’m lying on a coral covered beach after my first swim since coming to Peng-hu 3 days ago…at last! A deflated banana boat and short defiant beach plants are my only company. The turquoise ocean teases me by rolling within inches of my toes… hope you can call me while I’m still here. x “

I talk on the phone and tell people I’m thinking about them, wishing they were with me.
Another guy, who’s riding along on his jet ski asks if I’m ok, or if I was all by myself. I tell him I had a friend on the more populated part of the beach. It’s obviously very strange for a girl to be sitting alone, on the beach. Apparently, it’s also the same if a girl sits alone at a bar. Why is a young girl chilling alone? And if she doesn’t want company, what the fuck is wrong with her?
I find two big pieces of white spiky coral and imagine using them as earring stands. I walk back to the umbrella-ed part of the beach and find Daisy digging through the sand, looking for small shells. I take the scooter back by myself so I can change and shower. This time, Daisy stays on the beach. She calls and texts me, asking me to come back and watch the sunset. I really want to, as it was starting to look like a fabulous show, but I had to clean myself up and get the sand out of my crevices and hair.

Bump into Daisy who was walking back to the hotel. We go into town to look for seafood.

Dinner: stir-fry scallops, BBQ sea snails (DELISH!), oyster soup, stir-fry baby mussels, BBQ sea urchin, and sea urchin sashimi style.
This is a dinner I re-visit in my dreams. The snails are so good that we order a second plate.

Dinner done with, we go shopping as our stomachs heave in front of us. I buy a delicate, mother of pearl bracelet that compliments my wrist very nicely, a necklace that that consists of a black cord securing a white, hook-like pendant with carving on it, a dark metal key chain that has three figures fucking each other when you move the handles, a wide beaded bracelet that has white shells threaded through the middle. Bracelet is for my bro, Andy, and key chain is for roomie, Wily.

We rest from all the tiring activities, we’d just been up to, and have some local drink that consists of jelly made out of cactus. Daisy said she heard it was good for the skin. I believe that if you come up with any product, in Taiwan, and claim that it’s good for the skin, then it’d sell like hotcakes.

Return to the hotel. Fireworks are going off. The stars in sky…well, there are visible stars in the sky, period. On the porch, I lie back on a wooden bench and gaze at the twinkles in the sky while I chat happily, deeply, and familiarly with a good friend. I feel so far away from life in Taiwan. As I lie there, I suddenly hear a man talking loudly to me.

“What are you doing up there?”
“Sitting.”
“Miss!! It’s not safe up there!”
“Why!?!”
“You must get down! It’s dangerous!!”
“I’m on the phone! Piss OFF!”

That’s the fifth time today!? Why the hell are guys around here so concerned about what I’m doing?! More importantly, why the hell do men here believe they have the right to bloody order me around and tell me what is good for me?? What the fuck?
Annoyance.
Maybe this is what’s expected by the sexes here. Attractive, oh yes.

Snack: Dou-hua (Soy pudding in syrup with pearls, or black flour balls.)
Yum yum!

It’s been a non-stop food orgy since day one!

5th day: Sun. Aug.24,’08

Tonight is our last night as tomorrow we return to home-sweet-Taichung-city-home. Life has been too simple and too fun for the past few days. These things always come to an end. We eat when we’re hungry ( And oh man do we eat!), chill when we’re tired, and do whatever the hell we want to do. To be honest, I would have liked to spend more time on the beach.

We didn’t wake up for the sunrise as we had planned. We were both too tired and generally preferred to sleep in the comfort and chilled air of our room. I had many dreams last night, again. But they weren’t as hectic as the previous night’s. I wonder why I’m having so many dream filled nights.
We did rush it to breakfast as they started cleaning it all up at 8:30!

Breakfast at 8:20 : Congee (rice porridge), dried baby fish fried with peanuts, stir fried cabbage, thin strips of red dou-gan (soy bean curd), pickled cucumbers, pickled radish, an powdered pork jerky.

Mix, pick, or skip; you do whatever you want with this type of traditional Chinese breakfast. It’s surprisingly easy on the stomach.

We hang out on the beach. Daisy looks for some big, white pieces of coral similar to the pieces I found. The tide was swiftly becoming lower and lower. I coax Daisy into the cool morning water. She wants me to teach her how to swim. Sure! --But not in an environment where a ripple of water rolls her over backwards. I swim with my goggles and see brown, dead coral, patches of seaweed sprouting up, frightened fish, and large black sea cucumbers. EWW! After spotting the fifth one, I keep to the shallow waters as I’d hate to have one of the come in contact with any part of my skin!! I’m squirming on the inside, right now, as I think about them. They’re long, thick, blackish, squishy dollops of ocean turd…

We have to check out of our room at 10 bloody thirty, so we head back to clean off salt and sand. Must move two mini suitcases to another location. I drive the 50cc scooter back and forth through sand and gravel.

Lunch: BBQ snails, (same place and same dish as last night), stir-fry scallops,(also same dish as last night’s), fried rice for Daze, and the best stir-fried rice noodles I’ve ever had. The shredded sweet potato makes a world of a difference. Oh, let’s not forget the fish soup as mid-day (with intense sun-light and baking waves of heat). She wanted to try this special fish that could only be found around this land.

Food piled in, I head over to the shops for more gift shopping. This is the first trip where I’ve bought EVERYONE a gift. Ok, not everyone, but did I really need to buy 15!? I have a large family, dammit. There goes my pocket money. My funds are spent on either food, more food, transportation, and of course comfy accommodation.

Dolphin necklace for Kaylee (9th Lai)
Large, colorful, bubble filled, bright pen for Will who is an artist (8th Lai)
Mother of pearl earrings for Mom
Bronze colored shell bracelet for godmom
White shell earring, with pink stripes, for Ting (6th Lai)
Bright flower, dangling earring for Nikki (4th Lai and only child-bearing, married one at the moment)
Square-shaped pearl earring for myself.

I’m a spendaholic. Although money and I usually have very brief affairs/flings, which is a step up from one night stands, the sex always leaves me panting.

We head off on the scoot again and drive around to explore the island. Again. We soon stop for some more photo taking of this stunning scenery along the coast. We find a beach of coral and rocks and we stop to gather sand for our souvenir bottles. Minutes turn to beating hours under the sun.

I get heat stroke and blur into the rest of the trip.

2008-11-07T21:36:00.008+08:00

Collision

I may just collide in your warm, fuzzy felt
Entwined lovers gloriously meld
Like chocolate smoothies
And strawberries with whipped cream
Minds alight with more than mere
Schmoozies

I’m writing to unload your mind
of a ball field of questions,
twenty-two concerns,
still unlearned of
this girly furl
who curls
in your
lap
or
twirls
your flying
astro-boy hair
before falling deeply
into unconscious streams
who you wrap from behind
while gently straddling her behind

( Who wonders at you
and of you,
and would lovingly
blow you. )

Shall I tell you
everything
and fell you with my
many things
fill you to the brim and over
with my tears
and my most painful stings…

I want to show you my world
Splashed full of clashing brilliance
Of colors that collide
yet maintain equal significance.

I have felt hate in exploding heat

I discovered sorrow beyond numbing pain

I have glimpsed the pale face of death

As panic jolted through my veins...

Frailty has become my strength

Silence is my communication

I have become my number one lover

never lost love

always known it was there.

Only now,

I channel it with awareness.

Balance My Meal

2008-11-07T20:57:00.003+08:00

Research has shown that Asian children are the most unhappy with their body's weight. This goes to show why the adults are seemingly weight obsessed over here. Everywhere you look now, on almost every street's corner, there's a new LOHAS (Lifestyles of Health and Sustainability) shop selling organic and very healthy diet supplements, etc. This is all very good and promotes a healthy diet.
But what about the other part of a healthy diet? The part where people need to be informed of what a BALANCED diet is. Many times, when I'm sitting in a local noodle shop, I always check out what the people around me have ordered. Commonly, if a person is dining alone, they'll just order a serving of something starchy such as fried noodles, rice, or a bowl of soupy noodles. Each of these dishes offer little, if any, vegetables and nutrition. If I'm not mistaken, these types of meals are the most common in Taiwan. There are the variations of this typical meal, such as the lunch box or the other normal Taiwanese fast foods such as oily and dirty street food, etc. All with varying levels of what a balanced, healthy meal would be.

Here are some tips:

Understand why your body needs variety. Protein keeps you full and helps build muscle, carbohydrates give you energy and fat helps protect organs, develop cell membranes and more.
Start your day smart. For breakfast, combine whole grains (such as oatmeal or whole-wheat toast), protein (natural peanut butter or egg whites) and low-fat milk or yogurt.
Think in fractions. At lunch and dinner, vegetables or salad should take up half your plate. Another quarter should be lean protein such as skinless chicken breasts, fish, soy meat or beans. The last quarter should be grains such as brown rice, whole-wheat pasta or sweet potatoes.
Incorporate small servings of healthy fats. Cook in olive or canola oil or eat a slice of avocado or a handful of nuts.
Use appetizers wisely. Eating a low-calorie salad or broth-based soup to start a meal will ease hunger for the rest.
Add fruit. A piece at every meal will give you important nutrients and also help satisfy cravings for sweets.
Balance your snacks, too. It's easy to add a little protein to mostly carbohydrate snacks. For example, spread peanut butter on wheat toast, pour yogurt over fruit slices or mix some nuts into a small bag of pretzels.

October 31st Dress-up Night

2008-11-02T19:13:00.006+08:00

Ellen (smartest girl I know), Me (Silliest girl I know), Andy, Gerald (Andy Warhol), Kyle, Monica, Wily (Edison Chen, and Daisy.

Ellen ...was great to see you in TC girl!

Andy the goth rocker. He had chicks hitting on him all night long. I had a great time putting on his make up.

Carol the hottie.

I did like wearing it and thought it suited me. The only slightly uncomfortable thing about my halloween outfit was my five inch heels which made me about six feet tall thus towering over every cutie.

Operation: Drunk Boss

2008-10-26T01:50:00.009+08:00

It started out as a normal Wed night of a few drinks. Monica and I met up at the Jazz fest, but we arrive just when the music dies down for the night. Next, we stop off at my house to grab some clothes that I wanted to give to her as they were too small for me. Onward to the sports bar, the Londoner, where Monica is expected for a job interview. Upon our arrival, she's immediately whisked to the back of the bar and is introduced to the many ways a bar runs. Hmm, not a bad way to start an interview. But, they offer her a salary that would make a dancing monkey cry.

Next, we go to a popular restaurant/bar/hangout, FM. I'm to meet up with Jim who's a friend of a friend and has just moved to Taichung. Kyle arrives when I'm in the Ladies' Room. As we near the bottom of our drinks, we're joined by Joe and Clifton, who I work with at American Eagle Institute and are from the US too. They're accompanied by one of the Taiwanese owners, Teddy, and Joe's visiting dad, David. I'm surprised when David returns from the bar with a martini in his hand. Here's this balding little man with a snowy sweep-over and white eyebrows sipping daintily from a cocktail glass that woman usually balance in-between feminine fingers. I smile at myself for thinking these kinds of thoughts. My boss is already half-way drunk and teases Clifton about drinking "juice", a screwdriver. Clifton is one of the lightest weight, white, male drinkers I've ever encountered. Ever. He's pretty much passed out before he's finished his "juice". These four have been drinking and enjoying one of Taiwan's favorite pass times, the glorious art of shrimping.

And it's time for Freedom. FM calls for the last call so I convince Joe and Boss to tag along with us to that place of happiness, so many memories, and most importantly, a bottomless cup. Many vodka and cranberries, drinking games and silly pop songs later, we are slurring our words and spilling drinks.

Then, I am groped by my boss. It was a meager attempt at putting his arm around me, but it started over my butt and felt it's way up my back. As Freedom starts to pack up, I call a cab for my two co-workers. They sway rhythmically, as if they're dancing, while they fight over whether or not one should drive or cab it.

Kyle and I head to a gay bar. His idea, of course. There's no luck there for him that night. We end talking about friends we miss... and miss them we sorely do.

I'm in bed at 7, but not before a quick and easy breakfast right outside my front door. God works in mysterious ways and plants sunny little breakfast stores, right on my doorstep, complete with brightly painted furniture that wakes me up more than a cup of caffeine. The next day at work is painful, slow, yet hilarious all at the same time. --Painful because of a scratchy throat and beating headache. --Slow because of the time warp that I'd entered from messing up my body clock. --Hilarious because Boss and Joe are in similar situations as I am in. Boss is worse and has a puffy red face and very bleary eyes. Joe stays pumped with continuous sugar input.

I don't think Boss remembers much of what happened the night before. This is the first time I've started going to bars with co-workers and especially bosses. I've always made it a strict rule not to mix work life with private life. Also, the people I've worked with in the past were on average about ten to twenty years older than me, and were the conservative types with families and strict diets, etc. Anyhow, I'll see how things go. For now, I'm enjoying the fact that I can drink, smoke, yell, sing, dance, bull-shit, and get retarded with these guys...and be respected for it because I'm a female. What do you think?

Jazz and Hallow Freaks

2008-10-21T20:29:00.006+08:00

It's October. This is the month where the temperature finally lowers, breezes start flowing by, colours emerge from the usually bland greenery...and the Jazz Festival arrives!

The Jazz Festival is a once a year happening where hundreds of businesses set up booths which are crammed into one walking street. The stalls and throngs of people are interspersed with a couple of small stages where musicians of many sorts and nationalities perform. I saw a great RnB band perform in front of an entranced and clapping crowd which made me realize why this festival was so needed and definitely so appreciated. If only the Taiwanese could get more of these kinds of cultural activities, etc, then maybe they'd become less of a money-oriented populous.

I've already been to it twice and look forward to going again, but it must be as soon as possible as the festivities only last for about 10 days. Bugger. I must try the BBQ'd beef fillets, the German sausages, and the Thai papaya salad. Oh yes, and cocktails for 50-80 nt!! Steve Sloan, too bad you're not here to enjoy it with us. (But I'm sure there's too much in TPE that I'm missing out on... toilet themed dessert houses and snake blood drinks come to mind. Ha.)

Also, with the month of October's arrival comes Halloween. Hallow-ness be damned! I hate how the Americans' consumerist culture has permeated Taiwan's to the point where the students dress up for a stupid holiday they don't even know the meaning for, learn an incredibly idiotic song about smelly feet that will waste more of their brain cells and energy, and ingest twice as much artificial sweetener than they already need. The two American teachers in my school are quite enthused by it all. It's understandable. I have been given an allowance of 200 nt to spend on my costume. Joy. Students ask me what I'll dress up as and give me huge puzzled faces and a loud, "WHYY!??" when I tell them I don't want to be scary.

"Teacher, you don't want to be scary??!! WHYY!??"

"Ok, I'm going to be a cookie."